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"Kelly Clarkson" by Varios Eggs

1/1/2011

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"Kelly Clarkson"
Words & Music: LJ
Guitar & Vocals: LJ
Guitar & Drums: Doug

“Kelly Clarkson” is the first Various Eggs song. Prior to “Kelly Clarkson,” Doug and I tried writing another song based on his guitar riff to which I put the lyrics: “I flew back home today, eight years I’ve been away, but little has changed…” yadda yadda yadda. But, we stopped working on it because it just didn’t have “it.” At its best, it sounded like a U2 power ballad, something that I don’t think either of us wanted. We also recorded another song prior to “Kelly Clarkson” called “Shake me out of the tree,” but neither of us consider that a Various Eggs song because it pre-existed the band. I.e., I wrote it years earlier. “Shake me out of the tree” is also a really folksy sounding song and I wasn’t sure I wanted to make that kind of music.

The song started with a simple sound: the dry thwacking sound a guitar makes when it has reverb, a little distortion, and no bottom end. I really like the violence of this sound, so, I tried to make a riff that would fit well with it. My original demo of the riff was just the sliding single-note guitar line and a shaker. It was also really really slow. I might have been listening to too much Ocean or Sunn0))) when I was working on the song and it originally wore its slo-metal influence on its sleeve.

The lyrics came from a writing exercise: I would write a line and Doug would write a line. The subject matter was supposed to involve the day’s events. Doug’s lines described a boring day at work. Mine described a nightmare I had. As a joke, when we were done, I read the lines as a spoken word piece over the slow version of the song a la William Shatner. I decided to work from the nightmare lines because they formed a narrative. Add a chorus and a break down, and there we go, a song! Doug suggested we speed it up, and presto, it looked more like a pop song. He also added the nice second guitar line in the outro.

On a side note, I don’t have anything against Kelly Clarkson or pop music for that matter. She is named in the song because she was really in my dream, which is odd because I probably only know two Kelly Clarkson songs, and the Adam Lambert season was the first time I ever watched American Idol.

So, you may say, “You…um…can’t sing.” I agree; when we started, I never intended to be the singer. The vocal take used in this song was either the first or second take, which also represents about the third time I ever tried to sing in my entire life. If I sound like I was scared to death, it’s because I was. But, that really suits a song about stage fright. So, we left it that way.

So, you might say, “You…um…really can’t play.” Yup, I hear you on that. I wasn’t a guitarist when we started Various Eggs; I simply enjoyed the noises an electric guitar could make. And Doug wasn’t really a drummer at that point, just a guy with a drum set.

So, you might say, “Dang, that recording sounds like crap.” I know, isn’t it awesome?

Anyway, hope you like the song and feel free to drop us a line with feedback.

Read  more for lyrics!
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Last night I dreamt I was on TV.
And Kelly Clarkson taught me to cheat.
She said there are three types of audience love.
The first was sex (as a ham undressed for the crowd).


Oh Kelly can you wake me.
Give my hand a squeeze.
Will they stare much longer?
Oh god, I wanna leave.


I wasn't sure it wasn't me.
And, I didn't want my friends to see.
I turned them away from the screen.


Oh Kelly can you wake me.
Give my hand a squeeze.
Will they stare much longer?
Oh god, I wanna leave.


The second was pity and that's easy.
Let no one want to be me.
I startled before I reached three.


Oh Kelly can you wake me.
Give my hand a squeeze.
Will they stare much longer?
Oh god, I wanna leave.



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